My life is not a movie.

1. I didn't grow up on the mean streats of anything.
2. I don't know anyone that has grown up on the mean streets.
3. I've been shot at, but it wasn't really that life altering or scary.
4. I've never given a speech to rally a defeated group of people to fight for
   some unattainable cause.
5. I've never had to fight for some unattainable cause.
6. I do not have a nemesis.
7. I have not belonged to, or met anyone that has belonged to a secret organization
   entrusted with the sacred task of protecting something or other (or stopping an
   ancient evil from rising, or to fight some other secret organization).
8. I have never dramatically entered a room and finished someone elses sentence.
9. I have never arrived just in the nick of time to save someone's life (or for that
   matter, too late to save someone's life, or in fact, in plenty of time).
10. I have nver given a ride to a female (or for the record, a male) stranger that
    then tried to seduce/kill me.
11. No one has ever, and I mean ever, came crashing through any or my windows.
12. I have never had to give medical aid to anyone because they couldn't go to the
    hospital. (That is not to say that I haven't given medical aid before though).
13. I don't have any dark, repressed secrets that I can gradually reveal to a
    potential girlfriend that I haven't pushed away like everyone else for some reason.
14. I've never had to "lay low" for a little bit.
15. While driving non-stop for a few days, I will occasionally have to stop to get
    things like gasoline and use the restroom.
16. If while using the restroom, some nefarious character chases me out of the restroom
    at gunpoint, I will (some time soon) need to actually finish using the restroom.
17. I do not regularly carry a sword.