Have you ever thought about when someone says rofl? I mean, they can't be literally rolling on the floor. How would they type? It woudl be tricky that's for sure. You'd need a wireless keyboard.

This statement that someone told me would work because they aren't rolling: wow i'm definetly like on the floor laughing with that one.

"...investigators say the deceased was on "aim" a popular online chat program, when she started to "rofl", which means rolling on the floor lauging. Unfortunately, she got tangled in the cord and ended up "rofc" which means rolling on the floor choking.

You know what's great about being me? The fact that I am listed as a cache administrator on at least one caching server that I don't maintain. I have contacted that administrator about this several times, but for one reason or another, I remain the administrator of record. This doesn't really bother me too much though, and every once in a while, I get an email like this:

Subject: what does this mean?

can't seem to retrieve http://www.pcusa.org/today/passion/inex/htm

-or-

Subject: error
Hi,
I don't know why they gave me your email address. I'm trying to reach site www.truaxtreasurer.com. They tell me domain doesnot exist. I got this right out the magizine we get. Gary

Subject: addresss
Why can't I reach this address? It was in the Altoona Mirror just today.

wwwbestwindowsintown.com

And I (being the sick bastard that I am) help these people. (The answers are: "site's slow, seems to be dns problems", "that site doesn't exist, the magazine is wrong", and "how about tyring www.bestwindowsintown.com instead?". The only one that wrote me back was the bestwindowsintown.com person, and they appreciated my efforts.).
This got me thinking... perhaps I could start a url assistance program? Then, I thought about it, and I realized it might be better if I wrote a program that integrated with the web browser and used advanced searching techniques to help the user find the web site they're looking for. I can even put a hook in it so that I can sell ad space and give the program away for free. It's totally ingenious and completely original.
Also, while I'm at it, I also realized that most people won't be actively seeking out such a program, so I should find ways to entice the end user to install the program without realizing that they are doing so. That way, they can transparently benefit from my efforts AND targeted advertising geared towards the end-users specific needs.

I am a genius.

Ok, display name is going to be her name.
Should I type that in now?
Yes. And then hit next.
silence
Um... did you hit next?
It's asking for my email.
Type your email into that box.
Ok.
after a pause ...and hit next.
My incoming mail server is a "P" "O" "P" "3".
It certainly is. Now, in both of the boxes below, type "mail.domain.dom"
Ok.
Hit next.
I don't have a next. The one box is still empty.
Put "mail.domain.dom" into the outgoing box.
Ok.
...
...
Hit next.
I did.
Do you see where it says "account name"?
Yes.
Type your account name in there.
Ok.
Now, do you see where it says "password"?
Yes.
... Type your password in there and hit next.
*the rest of the call was pretty much unremarkable"

Ok, now it's saying "save password", "connect automatically" or "work offline."
Do you have 1 phone line, or 2?
She only has 1 line.
Ok, so when we hang up, go ahead and hit connect.
Do you want me to click off that x?
No. Your computer is ready to go, so when we hang up, hit connect.
Should I do anything now?
No. Your computer is ready to connect to the internet. It can't do it now because we're on the phone and you'll get an error saying no dialtone.
Oh, well it has these globes spinning around up in the corner, does that mean anything to you?
Yes, it means that it is trying to get a page, but is waiting for you to connect.
So I should click those off then, right?
No. Don't click anything off.
So you don't want me to clear anything off then?
Right, all you have to do when we hang up is hit connect.
Do you want me to do that now?
NO! Wait until we hang up.
Oh, ok. I'll hang up and try that. Thank you.
You're welcome.

Don't let the spiders crawl up beside us...
They want to bite us,
Inject the virus

cool scheme

My life in a nextel minute:
Date?
Boyfriend
Done.

Time plods ahead steadily, as I drift backwards, a stick in the current of raging rapids.

A lot of people I know believe that weight is proportional to quality. The heavier a device is, the more "solid" it is, and therefore, a more reliable/higher quality device. "Feel the weight of this power supply." or "This cell phone has more weight to it, which indicates higher quality components.".
Now, to be fair, there is some truth to this. A heavier power supply typically means a larger transformer, which is able to handle higher loads. Weightier components can handle more abuse than their smaller counterparts. Yet, I feel I could exploit this belief. "Every system comes with a block of lead."

Feel free to customize SQBNet to your liking with the new Prefs page. SQBNet has been capable of this for years, but I haven't gotten around to making an interface to this capability until now.

The following rant was submitted by windex/theinx/theOracle/redinx at my request. When I first heard the story of the borrowed floppy drive, I couldn't believe it. However, strange as it seems, the following story is true. We just can't make stuff like this up.

So, Squegie asked me if I knew anyone who is into graphics design and could
create a logo for one of his websites. I told him I knew of someone who was
between jobs and looking for something interesting to do besides calculus
homework, so I passed the word along.

That weekend I asked her if she had a chance to think about how she was
going to design it, and she said she was done and ready to send it back,
except for one small hitch...

Despite having almost the best computer you can build off the shelf, there
is only one way to get files off the computer and onto another one, short of
removing the hard drive and throwing it into another computer.

Note that it is "almost" the best computer.

There's no working CD burner.

I pitched the idea of buying a USB memory stick, but no current job = no
spare money. I had left my memory stick at work over the weekend, so there
went that idea.

There is a NIC installed, but no phone or Ethernet jacks in the room.

What about a floppy drive, you might ask?

The computer used to have one, until her boyfriend borrowed it for "a few
days" to fix his co-worker's computer. They broke up a few days later, with
him still having custody of "his" floppy drive.

So, the only possible solution is to take her computer downstairs and
network it with mom's computer, and email the file to herself so she could
then download the file from her email and copy it to a floppy.

Someday, kids 'round the world will learn of this story and use it as a
convenient excuse in school. It's the digital equivalent of "my dog ate my
homework". You heard it here first.